Okcupid how long to respond

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Home What is R. Note: At the time, I had no plans to use this conversation as an example. Try to avoid being overly emotional. Delayed response — up to several days later shows outcome independence. Straight up asking. She offers up the digits. They get messages like this all day. It might work initially, but eventually they will lose interest. Insert details about how the information is going to be processed. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published.

This is so you don't waste your time on people you've already reached out to. Once you've messaged someone, your intro will go to their Intros tab. We'll also add you to their Discover queue, and let them know you sent an Intro! We always make sure people who have sent Intros get moved towards the front of Discover. The person you've reached out to can visit your profile to view the Intro you sent them, along with the rest of their profile.

If they're interested in you, they can Like you back. This will move your message to the "conversations" page for both of you, so you can write to each other any time. You'll also get a notification that they wrote to you and Liked your profile. Yes, you do have to Like someone to send them a message. We want conversations to be only between people who are interested in each other, so you have to Like someone before messaging them.

You can just pass on the profile and move on. I guess I could use the time to compose a draft response oh please don't do this -- it will be apparent, and it will probably be too long. You don't even know what you might be responding to. Chill out, go for a walk.

Get away from your computer. Don't bring your smartphone. Awesome person either will or will not respond, it's out of your hands now. Do not start a potential relationship with game-playing unless you want a relationship based on game-playing. She's probably not going to respond or maybe she's a quick-checker and does her responding at some less hurried time , but that's not because you replied right away.

You're thinking way too much about this. If you're the sort who camps in front of the PC or is always on the smartphone, go ahead and write back right away if you want. If you usually let things marinate, do that. She hasn't written back. That might be because she has a ton of messages, she's on a great date, or because she'll write back tomorrow.

Yes, it could also be because she thinks you're desperate, but maybe The One will be charmed with your instant attention. Data point: I usually read messages right away. I usually don't respond until after I've thought about it a little, and that bit of procrastination means sometimes it might take a couple days for me to get around to it. The timing of my response isn't really related to the timing of the other person's caveat: I try to respond to every message I get, and I have the impression that is not the norm.

Don't stress out too much about it. Also, what Lyn Never said. Best answer: If someone writes to me and is interesting, I usually take about a day to respond. I will look at the person's profile and then think of a thoughtful reply, especially in the first message.

I will generally decrease the time between messages as time goes on. If I write someone first, I usually take things at the responder's pace. If it took 2 days for the guy to respond to me, I will wait at least a day to write to him. I don't want to overwhelm people. I sometimes feel overwhelmed when people respond too quickly. It's a tricky situation and I don't know all the correct answers. I had even toyed with the idea of asking a similar question to yours to get a general consensus of whether I'm following online dating etiquette.

Also, I've had women on okcupid reply back to me months after my last message. Don't sweat it, there are more of them out there. You're overthinking the problem. She'll reply sometime later if she wants to, and she already responded to you once so clearly she's not completely uninterested.

Perhaps she saw the new message notification, went to read it, and is planning to reply later? That's pretty common I would imagine. Treat it like you would any other type of communication. Replying 30 seconds later looks desperate, but anywhere in the later that day to the few days later range is just fine until you know each better.

I get email notice that I have new okc messages and will sometimes use the mobile site to read a new message. OKC shows that I've logged on, but I never write responses from my phone - that happens on the weekend when I can log into my home computer. But I want to check the inbox in case a date cancelled, etc. Please don't write a response to a message you haven't seen yet. Otherwise, everything you're saying sounds good. Hopefully you feel better now you've got a load of near-instant askme responses.

But I wouldn't worry about this one message. Because, you know, it's You happened to be by the computer, so you responded promptly. It would be silly to hold this against you. If I had to make up a rule, I'd say: respond hours after getting a message.

Subtext: you're not so insanely busy that you have no time to attend to your personal life, but you're also not that guy who always responds right away. As a disclaimer, this is just my speculation based on my experience as a straight man who uses OKCupid. Not being a woman, I obviously could be wrong about how women perceive these things.

Straight women generally have more luxury than straight men to filter people out based on trivial factors, so, as you know, one can't assume that straight-male thinking is the same as straight-female thinking when it comes to online dating.

But really, I just respond when I get a chance. I assume people realize that there are random fluctuations with this kind of thing. As long as I respond within 24 hours, I don't worry about it. If I find myself taking days to respond to someone's message, I take it as a sign that I'm not actually that interested. Best answer: A No. B Maybe.